First, You Had to Touch The Boogeyman

Simon Dean had prepared for a wrestling match. The dietary exchange was less welcome.⁵

There is a practical flaw in any plan to wrestle The Boogeyman. At some point, you have to put your hands on him.

That sounds manageable until the man across the ring starts eating live worms.

When The Boogeyman arrived on SmackDown in 2005, the red-and-black face paint and clock smashed against his own head supplied ample warning that this would be an unusual assignment. Here was someone apparently quite comfortable hurting himself. What, exactly, were you supposed to threaten him with?¹²

Simon Dean had the misfortune of facing him in his SmackDown in-ring debut, broadcast December 2, 2005. The fitness evangelist behind the Simon System usually had plenty to say about what a properly conditioned body could accomplish. Getting that body to the ring to face The Boogeyman proved a more immediate concern.

Once inside, Dean threw protein bars at his opponent like holy water on a bad spirit. This did little to discourage a man with rather different dietary preferences.

The Boogeyman produced live worms, ate some and threw the rest at Dean. Then he seized Dean by the throat, lifted him and drove him chest-first into the canvas with the Boogeyslam. The pin followed. Dean's evening had ended in a brief, thoroughly miserable defeat.⁴

There was no obvious supplement for this.

Before The Boogeyman could impose himself physically, Dean needed security's assistance simply to face him. Strength and conditioning were of limited use while their proud spokesman was resisting the journey to the ring.

From the audience, you could laugh, grimace or look away. Dean had no such comfortable arrangement. The man with the worms was his opponent.

You can spend childhood being told there is no Boogeyman. It is rather unfair to grow up and find him standing in the opposite corner of the ring.

Sources and Viewing

1. WWE: Boogeyman biography. 2005 arrival, worm-eating and treatment of opponents.

2. WWE: Bad Case of Ringworms. Appearance and clock-smashing behavior.

3. WWE video: The Boogeyman makes his in-ring debut against Simon Dean. Official video listing describes Dean's fear and defeat.

4. Scott Fried: SmackDown report, December 2, 2005, 411Mania. Contemporary account of security bringing Dean to the ring, protein bars, worms eaten and thrown, and the finishing slam. Reports differ on elapsed time, so the article does not give an exact duration.

5. WWE: The Boogeyman's disturbing WWE debut, SmackDown, December 2, 2005. Article image: thumbnail from the official match video, showing The Boogeyman throwing worms at Simon Dean.

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